I have been rolling this blog around in my mind for weeks, maybe months now, and finally decide to just do it. I struggled with what I should write and what I should include. I still am unsure about a lot of these things, but I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens I guess!
So why the title Inventing Eden? Well, I am on a bit of a mission. A mission to create the safest, happiest, and healthiest home for my family I can. Our very own Eden so to speak. I am in no way under the impression that I can truly create our own Garden of Eden here on Earth, it would be impossible! But when God created Eden for Adam and Eve he created a place that was secure, healthy, and full of love and happiness. This is what I want for my children. I know that I can't protect them from all the pain, sadness, and evil in the world. Home should be an oasis from that though. This blog is a way for me to share our journey with others and to keep me motivated when things get difficult.
The last few years have been a struggle for my family. I have lost 2 jobs, have separated from my husband, endured another year and a half relationship with a manipulative, violent alcoholic, lost a child at 3 months of pregnancy, battled a 3 year battle with depression, lost my home, moved in with my parents, and my Mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Last March I had to leave my home in the middle of the night with nothing more than a duffel bag of clothes and my son to protect him from the man who claimed to love us. The man I thought I could rebuild my life with. I was 6 months pregnant at the time. I'm probably lucky I made it through that night unharmed.
Not all has been bad though, I've had a beautiful baby girl who I wouldn't trade for the world, gone back to school to pursue a career I've been wanting for a very long time, and gotten to spend a lot of quality time with my Mom. I also began going to church again and have rededicated my life to God. It has been that relationship with Him and 6 months of counseling at Mainstay, a center for abused women, that have gotten me through the last year.
I have repaired my relationship with my ex-husband and am well on my way to rebuilding our friendship. We will never be together as a couple again, but he is a wonderful father and it's so good for my son to know that Mom and Dad don't hate each other. My daughter's father is no longer in our lives. I asked him to get counseling and go to substance abuse classes in order to have any sort of visitation rights with his daughter. He chose a life of drugs and alcohol over his own daughter. I haven't heard from him since before she was born last May. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. She is better off without him in her life.
I now have an opportunity to start fresh which is something not many people get. It is my new mission in life to provide them both with a life that gives them everything they need to grow into confident, happy, healthy adults who are respectful, well adjusted and ready to tackle anything the world throws at them. I hope to document that journey in this blog. It will give me an outlet to share ideas, voice frustrations, and hold myself accountable. I am so excited about starting this new journey and can't wait to see where it may lead!
In closing I wanted to leave you with this verse. It has given me strenght over the last several months when I didn't think I would be able to make it through. God bless...
I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you--the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:1-8
No comments:
Post a Comment